hi all, i’ve written a letter to anyone who is willing to read; mostly it’s just emotions because my
life-determining exams are coming up real soon and i don’t really know what kind of headspace I’m in. please bear with me ♥
(long post ahead: built-up complex emotions)
my HSC exam period goes from October 13th to 30th and honestly, I’ve been struggling a lot.
I’m not a naturally studious person- my English teacher said to me at graduation; “You’re not a homework person. But I’ve seen that you love life. You and life are inseparable.” The more I thought about what he said, the more I believed it to be true and the more uncertain of my future I grew. I haven’t been able to study properly, as a result.
Two years ago, after watching TaeTiSeo perform ‘Baby Steps’ live, I decided I wanted to call the stage my home. I’d sung regularly at church, one time at school and performed in a dance group at the Sydney Semour Centre. I also almost became one of Alexander’s (former UKiss member) back-up dancers before the charity concert got cancelled. I wanted to ask him if it was worth going into stardom. I found each performance exhilarating, and between performances, I’d long for the next one.
happy 23rd birthday zhang yixing! i’m never really good with words and i never really figured out how to express myself in the best way so bear with me here （。-＿-。) i don’t know what else i should wish for you! there are so many people that love you, so many that treasure you and protect you, and you have achieved so many great things at a young age already.
i know this year has been rough for you, for all of EXO, and i want you to be strong, not only for yourself but also for the members. whenever you are tired or depressed i wish i could be by your side to tell you that it’ll all pass, that everything will soon be alright,or maybe just hug you or hold your hand, to remind you that your not alone, never alone and that all of xingmis are always by your side no matter what happens.
i want to thank you not only for your hardwork but also for always painting a smile on my face and making me laugh and for being the sunshine in my storm. a thousand bows would never be enough to show you how grateful i am for that.
and i know i am not enough so whomever you’ll be with in the future would be so lucky to have someone so blessed and nice and gentle (and a little bit weird) and passionate as you!
never forget to take care of yourself and have a great birthday xing! you deserve everything you have right now c: